Goodbye
by EAlove
Summary: What if Rose Tyler had died when she absorbed the Time Vortex? What would the Doctor do then? MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH


A wave of the hand. This is all it took her to turn the deadly robots into dust.

Rose, or rather the Bad Wolf, was standing in front of him, glowing with golden light, hand raised as the Daleks screamed. And that was end of the Dalek Emperor. The end of the Time War. The last of the Daleks had been killed. And he was still the last of the Time Lords.

The Doctor was on the floor, protecting his eyes from the glowing light. He was scared. Time Lords weren't supposed to look in the Time Vortex, much less humans. Her tiny human brain wouldn't be able to resist the pression, all the time lines running through her mind would burn her alive. She was going to die, and it was all his fault.

He had said so aloud, ashamed of himself; because it was another life he ruined. But most of all he was scared of losing her. Scared of being alone again.

"No, it is not," she replied, her voice ringing all around the empty room. "I knew it would happen someday, but I wouldn't change it for the world." Her eyes stopped glowing and she looked down at him. "So don't blame yourself."

"But why?" He yelled, eyes wide. "Why did you do that? I sent you back so you would be alive!"

Her reply came without an ounce of hesitation. Her voice was filled with adoration and pure love, "I want you safe. My Doctor." It was clear that she loved him. That she'd do anything to save him, to be by his side and never leave him alone. And it was sure that he loved her just the same.

Oh Rose. His beautiful and brave Rose. She had done so many things for him. He couldn't leave the Time Vortex run through her. But before he could do anything, she closed her eyes, and took her head in her hands, screaming. "It hurts!"

The Doctor quickly got up, and placed his hands on Rose's, in an attempt to comfort her. He brought her closer in a desesperate hug. He felt like if he let go of Rose, she'd disappear. She raised her head, dropping her hands, and his own hands followed hers. He could see the pain in her eyes, even though she was trying not to show any sign of it. As always, he thought, she was trying not to worry him.

"I see everything, Doctor, all that is, all that was and all that ever could be."

His eyes widened. That was exactly what he saw in his head, always, all the time. All the possibilities, all the choices. He was used to this, but he couldn't even imagine what it'd be like to a human mind. He had to get the energy out of her. He had to save her. Even if it'd kill him.

And that was what he'd do.

"That's what I see, all the time. And doesn't it drive you mad?" He kept his hold on her hands as he looked into her brown-golden eyes. He was determined to save her.

"My head,"

"Come here,"

"It's killing me."

"I think you need a Doctor."

Ever so slowly he leaned down and gently brushed his lips against hers. He had always dreamt of kissing her. Since he'd told her to run, that day when they fought the Autons. There always had been something about Rose, something he couldn't quite place. But now he knew. The uncomfortable feeling that had grown in his stomach whenever she'd smile at him, or whenever they'd hold hands. He was in love with this human girl, and he couldn't deny it anymore.

The energy slowly moved from Rose to the Doctor as they kissed. It was gentle really, just a pure touch of lips against lips, but it was a feeling the Doctor had always longed for. Of course in his mind, their first kiss would have occurred in other circumstances. He didn't know if she'd remember it anyway. But there it was, their first kiss.

He broke the kiss, and the remains of the Time Vortex floated towards him as Rose closed her eyes. She lost consciousness and fell in his arms. He laid her on the floor, in the most caring way. He brushed a strand of hair from her cheek with a gentle hand. Then with a last loving glance at Rose, he stoop up and faced the TARDIS. His eyes were glowing the same golden light as Rose's earlier as he sent the Time Vortex back to the TARDIS. It took a few seconds, but it seemed so much more to him as he stood with the power of a God.

Once the TARDIS had taken the whole of the Time Vortex back into her heart, the Doctor couldn't help but feel empty. He failed to stay up, so he sat down next to Rose, looking at her with the saddest eyes. He was worried. He had taken the Vortex back, but she had been terribly damaged. What if she- no, he couldn't let himself think like that.

He took her pulse, and his eyes widened in horror as he noticed how slow it was. And she was pale, too. He kept one of her hands in his own and gently caressed her cheek with the other. It didn't take long for her to come back to the world.

She became conscicous of a familiar warmth in her hand, while another sensation on her cheek distracted her. She opened her eyes slowly, and smiled at the sight her eyes met. The Doctor was looking down at her, with caring eyes.

"Hello," she said, but her voice broke in the middle of the word. She coughed and the Doctor frowned. Ideas were roaming in his mind, but he couldn't do anything. There has never been a cure after being burnt by the Time Vortex itself. But he kept hoping that his beloved companion would be alright.

"It's alright, shh," he whispered and squeezed her hand. She tried to move, but she closed her eyes shut and screamed in agony before laying back on the floor.

"It hurts! Doctor!" His eyes widened and he took her head in both his hands.

"Rose, I'm here, it's alright, look at me, Rose!" The Doctor was beyond worried, his eyes were wide with fear, but in truth he was completly panicking inside. He had never done that before, and he knew Rose would slap him for not asking permission, but he opened his mind and found Rose's. It was glowing brightly with kindness and love... and fear and pain. He engulfed it with his own mind and winced when he took the pain in him. Rose slowly relaxed, though she was still breathing heavily. Her pulse had quickened, but it still wasn't a reassuring pace for a human. She was too far gone. He wouldn't be able to do anything to save her. The realisation downed on him and he felt his eyes watering. He was left watching Rose di- suffering, withough being able to do bloody _anything_. It would be up to her, she had to fight. So he held her hand firmly between two of his own.

"Rose, can you hear me?"

"Y-Yeah," her voice was so weak, the Doctor had to lean down a bit to hear. She was struggling. Good, fighting is good, he kept saying to himself. "What happened?"

"You saved me." What was the use of lying to her?

"Again." He could see the ghost of a smile on her lips. He smiled back, though he wasn't sure if she could see him since her eyes were barely open.

"Yes," he replied honestly. But she didn't even know the extend of her saving. He had been in a horrible, dark place, before he had met her. He'd have thrown himself into all sort of troubles and dangers, without caring who would live and who would die. Even himself. At some point he even felt disappointed for not dying. But then she came. With all her kindness and compassion and smiles and joy.

And now he was losing her.

"You're alrigh' then?," she asked in a solft voice. She sounded calm, almost... determined. Did she understand what was happening to her?

"I've been better," he found his own voice soft but broken. He looked at their hands. He wasn't lying to her, well not completely. He was going to regenerate. But she didn't need to know that.

Rose's mind was dizzy. She didn't remember exactly what happened after she had opened the heart of the TARDIS. She felt very weak, her vision was blurred and the touch of the Doctor's hands around her own felt very far away. The Doctor hadn't said anything, but he was crying silently, she had seen the tears rolling down his cheeks. She was dying, wasn't she? But as long as the Doctor was alright, it was OK.

"Good..."

The Doctor's eyes shot up. Her voice had fadded, to the point that the end of the word had been inaudible. She couldn't give up, she had to fight!

"Rose, please look at me! You can't go!" She could barely hear his pleading voice. She wanted to sat up and take the Doctor in her arms, to hug him and tell him that she'd be alright, wherever she'd go. She wanted to tell him so many things; that she loved traveling with him, that he should never be alone, that he was the most amazing man- well, alien, she has ever known. That she loved him. But she wasn't strong enough. She managed a weak smile.

"You're crying..." He was close to her, one of his hands still holding one of hers, the other on her face, fervently pushing strands of hair behind her ear and caressing her cheek. Rose felt some of his tears fall on her, and her own eyes watered. She didn't want to cry in front of him. But the Doctor crying was one of her worst nightmares.

"I can't lose you, I don't want to lose you, Rose," he panicked. Tears rolled down his cheeks continually, and he gripped both of Rose's hands, rocking back and forth.

"..Why...?" Her voice was weaker and weaker, but he tried not to focus on this fact.

"Oh Rose...," he whispered. Did it really need saying? Stupid humans with their stupid words. Stupid Rose constantly saving him. Stupid Rose dying before him. What he felt was far more than one could ever hope to express with simple English words. She was his friend, his saviour. She was a constant in his life. She was his companion, the one he could always count on, the one he trusted with his life. He adored her, loved her. And he couldn't bear to lose her. "What am I going to do without you?"

"Don't forget me... yeah?" For a second he thought he had seen her eyes twinkle with mischief.

"How could anyone forget you, Rose Tyler?" Most certainly not him. She had changed him for the best. But he didn't know if he could go on without her. After a long pause, during which he thought the worst had happened, he whispered with all the love that he carried with both his hearts. "I love you."

He heard her aready uneven breath hitch, and let out a breathe he didn't know he was holding. Rose gathered enough energy to move her arm and place her hand on the Doctor's wet cheek. He leaned into her precious touch. They both could feel that Rose was losing her strength. The Doctor sobbed again.

"Doctor...," she couldn't even say more that one word without a pause. "I've... always...," she smiled and closed her eyes. "...and... will...," her strength started to leave her, and the Doctor placed his own hand under Rose's, and gripped it tight. "...always...," he heard her take a breathe and he couldn't stop crying. He knew if he let go of her hand, it'd fall on the floor. Rose was leaving him for good. It wasn't a teleportation beam this time. It was real. Her last words were barely a whisper. "...love... you."

Her head fell on the side, a single tear running down her face, and her chest stopped its usual raising. She was gone. Forever. He would never see his precious girl again, his fantastic Rose had left him. Alone.

After that, it was a blur for the Doctor. He couldn't see anything but his companion's body, he couldn't hear anything but her absent laughter, he couldn't feel anything but her slowly cooling hand. He was crying. Like he had never cried before. He did cry after the Time War, he had lost his people and his planet. But he was losing his home once again.

He felt a comforting nudge in his mind, and knew it was the TARDIS trying to comfort him. But it made him break down even more. With renewed tears, he kissed Rose's lifeless hand again and again. Then he let go, only to hug her unmoving form close to him and rock back and forth.

No one knows how long the Time Lord stayed with his dead companion in his arms, new tears always finding their way down his cheeks. Even the Doctor himself. He had lost all feeling of time passing by. He couldn't feel anything but pain and sadness, for that matter.

Rose had showed him how to live life, how to like being alive. He had seen the universe already, but seeing through her eyes had been something new. What was left for him to do now? What could he do? He wouldn't be picking another companion. He couldn't. Not after Rose. He wouldn't keep ruining lives. _But that's who you are, Doctor_, a little voice in his head was whispering. It had been his fault, or course it had been.

Now Rose was dead and he was alone. No goal. No one. Both of his hearts had gone with Rose.

A spark of pain shot through his body. Right, he was regenerating, he had forgotten. But the pain wasn't as overwhelming as the pain from the loss of Rose. It's almost as if he didn't care.

As he saw the golden light from his hands appearing then disappearing, though, his eyes widened. Regeneration. He could stop it. Stop all the pain. Go back with Rose- maybe, if an angel could be with a monster.

He had already decided.

He kissed Rose's cheek and stood up, his companion still in his arms. He then walked to the TARDIS, ignoring the pain in his body. The sentient ship welcomed him with a sad hum, she was mourning their lost Rose. But when the TARDIS understood her thief's intention, she sent electric sparks from the console.

"I don't care, what do you want me to do? She's- Rose is..." He knew the ship knew. He knew his ship wouldn't be happy with his next actions. But without Rose he was lost. Without Rose, he'd be back to saving worlds and be reckless. He didn't even _want_ to save those worlds. The universe hadn't saved Rose, so why would he save anything anymore? He wouldn't have minded dying for her, he'd have had to regenerate and explain to her, and hopefully she'd have stayed. But her death was a far too heavy price.

He gently laid Rose on the grating floor, and kissed her, caressing her cheek. With a last longing look and a sad smile, he dragged himself to the console. Pushing buttons and pulling levers for the last time in his life, and chose a peaceful planet. The ride was silent.

The Doctor could hear a sad song in the back of his mind. The TARDIS was crying. She would have tried to stop the Doctor, but his pain was so deep that she didn't feel like traveling anymore herself. Besides, she had been very attached to the pink and yellow human too. Traveling without her wouldn't be the same.

So she took the Doctor where he needed to go.

Once the usual sound indicating that they had landed was heard, the Doctor walked to his Rose and picked her up back in his arms. He was still as gentle and caring as he could, even if Rose couldn't feel anything anymore.

The TARDIS opened her doors for the Doctor, and he walked outside. He was met with a cloudless sky and everywhere he looked, he could only see a field of flowers. He nodded a thanks to his ship, and looked back at her fondly one last time as a goodbye. The TARDIS' lights turned off one by one and the doors closed themselves.

The Doctor cried.

The wind blew slightly, ruffling the grass and the flowers. The sound of the leaves on the trees was relaxing, calming. But it didn't stop the storm inside the Doctor. He felt like his insides were being torn apart, his eyes were red and puffy and his strength was leaving him. He sat on the grass, and laid Rose beside him.

Then he laid down himself.

Never letting go of Rose's hand.

The golden energy of the regeneration appeared. But he fought it back and it disappeared. He was still in pain, the only sign of it being in his eyes. He couldn't scream in pain, he wasn't even sure if he still had a voice, after crying so much.

But it didn't matter. He was going to be at peace soon. The only thing that mattered was the feeling of Rose in his hand, even though it wasn't the usual warmth. She was next to him, and soon, maybe, they'd be reunited.

He cracked a smile through his tears.

"I wish you were here, Rose. You'd love this planet."

She couldn't hear him, of course, but he still hoped that maybe in another life they could come and visit this planet. This one and all the others she hadn't seen yet. He had wanted to show her the stars, the wonders of the universe. And all this time, he had already found his own light.

Rose had been everything to him. She had been there when he needed her, and vice-versa. They had joked, laughed, teased each other, and sometimes fought. But they always held hands, always hugged. They've quickly been friends, and then best friends.

The Doctor smiled at the memory of her smile.

The wind ruffled his short cropped hair and his leather jacket. The feeling of the soft breeze against his cheek made him think of Rose's last hold and words. He sighed and let go of some pain.

He was going to leave everything behind. The universe would find itself another saviour. He was done here. He was tired.

He would just lay in the green grass. He closed his eyes. His last tears running down his face.

One cloud slowly drifted up there in the blue sky, and went unseen by the Doctor.

And his grip on Rose's hand loosened.

A bird sang sadly, and went unheard by the Doctor.

And slowly, very slowly, his chest stopped rising.

A soft breeze caressed his cheek, and went unfelt by the Doctor.

And the song of the blue box died.

.

It is said that somewhere in the flower fields of the planet Alavnéa, stands a tall box, covered in plants. And if you listen closely, some say that you can hear the sound of a man and woman laughing in the wind.

* * *

**I don't know how it happened, I was working for my exams and I suddenly had an idea. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.  
The BBC owns Doctor Who.**


End file.
